My mom just passed away - what I learned from her

The focus of this blog has been on trading, but the trials and tribulations of a trader frequently include influences from the non-trading side of life that are rarely mentioned.  Maybe it's too personal?  Maybe it comes across as weakness?  But if it impacts your trading, aren't they relevant, and perhaps they should be addressed?

My mother passed away on Monday after battling lung cancer for over 3 years.  I would be lying if I said that her condition never had any impact on my trading.  However, now that she has passed on and is at peace, it's time for a new chapter.  Time to reflect on what I learned from my mom -- to make me a better person, in all aspects of life, both trading and non-trading.

Being at her bedside, there were a few themes that kept running through my mind:

Never stop fighting -- My mom always said of her cancer, "I'm going to fight this!  I will not lose!  I'm not going to let this beat me!  I not dying anytime soon!"  Perhaps she passed on some of her traits to me, because even when I'm down big for the day, I always believe that I can recover and end the day with a scratch or even be profitable.  That goes for any other adverse situations that come up in life.  My mom had a much tougher battle -- it was to save her life.  And boy did she fight hard, truly an inspiration.  Her mental toughness was amazing.  She was a fighter until the very end.

Don't feel sorry for yourself -- She never smoked, but she got lung cancer.  Never did I hear her say or even imply, "Why me?"  Whether it's a 3 point slippage on a trade, a bad month of losses, or you found out you had some health condition you never expected, don't feel pity on yourself.  Accept the situation, figure out what you're going to do about it, and move forward.  Up until a month ago, you couldn't even tell she had stage 4 lung cancer.  My mom accomplished so much in the 3 years since she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  I am so proud of her.

Be there for your family -- My mom's commitment to her family was unwavering and unquestionable.  She was always there for her family.  Always.  No amount of money will create the bonds and love of a strong family.  There is no trade or investment that can generate a bigger return than what you make into your family.  Your money will NOT be at your deathbed, holding your hands, saying "I love you."  Invest the time and love into your family, and I guarantee they will be there for you.  It's one of the few sure bets in life.

I'm sure as the loss of my mother continue to sink in over time, I'll continue to learn even more from her.  As much as I miss her terribly, I take comfort knowing that memories of her will always be with me.  And she will always be in my heart.  Those can never be taken away.